Saturday, August 20, 2011

Jatin Dwideli

Jatin Dwideli
Jatin is a fourteen-year-old boy. He and his family lives in a shelter in India. He is skinny and shy. He has brown skin and is average height. He is thoughtful, determined, respectful and polite. He is very good at swimming; and an experience 2 years ago would have you believe he is brave. He saved his cousin’s life. His 5-year-old cousin was caught into the flood. Jatin saw his cousin under the water and dove into the water to save her. He didn’t listen to his mother who was asking him to stop, and ended up saving his cousin. Jatin’s aunt and mother both cried. His cousin died with cancer 5 months after, just like the death wanted her.
Even though he is a brave boy, he is very scared of wars. He is afraid that wars would start where he lives and he would wake up to gunshots one morning.
His family isn’t rich. He had three brothers, a sister and a mother. His father was killed by a rare disease when Jatin was ten years old. Although it was only four years ago, he couldn’t remember his father’s appearance.
His mother was a busy teacher. Because of her husband’s illness, she spent her time taking care of her dying husband.
After Jatin’s father died, his mother sold Jatin’s twinborn brother, Jargon, to a child labor factory. The two reasons for that were Jargon had a birthmark which looked like a ghost. Their family is Buddhist. In Buddhism, ghost is not a good sign for wealth and luck, and they need money for supporting. Jatin is now scared that his mother will sell him to the child labor factory just like his twinborn brother. His mother hasn’t gone to work for a while after, because she had to take care of her new baby-Jaime. Now, Jatin has two brothers and a sister. So, Jatin now is the eldest boy in his family. Jatin’s younger brother is Jag, and his second younger brother is Jevons.
Jatin is now a high school student. He studies hard every day, in other words, he is a good student. His father told him that he could be a rich man when he grows up if he works hard and studies hard.
He likes sitting still and trying to remember his father’s appearance. He likes to walk in the big mall alone, and looking at the surrounding jewelry, food, shoes, clothes and so on. He always imagines that if he was he could buy himself good things. Also, he always spends much of his time at the library after school. He really treasures his book which his dead father had given on the birthday at the year of his father’s death. He misses his father very much every night. He can feel the love of his father, even though his father is in heaven. Jatin loves his life, because he remembers his father said that there always would be sunshine after the rain; also, he believes his father is watching him, loving him and thinking about him all the time!
The First Day of High School

It was the FIRST day of HIGH school. Jatin was very excited about it. He could not fall asleep at night. He kept looking at the clock on the wall, hoping to fall to sleep.
It was six thirty in the morning. He jumped up and organized his bed in only one minute! New Record!!! He put on his new, oversized uniform shirt. Then he headed to eat breakfast.
Jatin’s mother said softly, “Today is the first of your high school life. Behave for your teachers!”
Jatin thought, I always behave for my teachers, but he still nodded respectfully. “Okay. Bye mother,” Jatin replied.
“Bye sweetie. Have a good day,” his mother said.
Jatin checked the route to his NEW high school yesterday afternoon. So he could go to his new school all by himself. He imagined his high school’s appearance. He also wondered what he could do in a high school.
It only took fifteen minutes to get school. As he arrived, the school bus arrived. Many students rushed out of the bus as the bus door opened. Most of them were using cell phones and MP3s. Jatin was admired for the high techs.
      There were seven buildings in his sight. There were many bushes near the school buildings.
      He compared his old elementary school with his new HIGH school. There were a lot of people chatting loudly at his high school. There were only few in his old school. His high school was clean and has many plants. His old elementary school makes feel dark and sad.
      He tried to find his old best friend, Daniele, but he wasn’t there. What a pity, he thought.
      After the bell rang, he squeezed into a strange building with a lot of people.
     He found his locker on the fourth which is the highest story. He organized his belongings into his locker. As soon as these were done, he went to his classroom and started studying.
The teachers are mild mannered. Some students were napping in class. Some were paying attention. This made Jatin think about university. He also determined that unless to be the good ones who doesn’t sleep in class. He wondered why the teachers would let the students sleep in class. He got an answer after – The teachers couldn’t do anything useful, and they were too disappointed to the students. The teacher didn’t want to teach them anymore. So the teachers just let them sleep, and at the end of the school year, they could kick them out of the private high school.
At recess, he went outside and got some ‘fresh’ air. He breathed deeply, and he could smell freedom! He had never felt so peaceful and happy, because it was the FIRST day of high school. You can never realize, to him, how necessary his new high school is.
He had a very good lunch at the noon. He enjoyed the food that his high school has supplied. He had a bowl of rice with meat and vegetables. Many other students brought their own lunch. It is very fun to look around, at the people’s lunch.
In the afternoon, Jatin still hasn’t got a friend yet. He was a bit worried. As he was thinking about making friends, a boy came and sat beside him.
The boy grinned, and said, “Hey. I am Stan. It’s nice to see you. What’s your name?”
Jatin hesitated, and stared at Stan for a while – He is skinny, has a mouth of white teeth. He looks plain and homely. He has the same height with Jatin’s. He was about thirteen years old…… His size doesn’t seem like a bully.
“I am Jatin. Nice to meet you.” Jatin responded as a very gentleman.
After they chatted for a few minutes, Jatin knew that Stan doesn’t have and doesn’t care about money. Also, Stan is a very directly boy who is in the same grade with Jatin, and Stan is new to this high school too.
Anyhow, they became friends after.
In the afternoon, the two boys found out that there was a horrid person as a bully in this school. He is wealthy. He was fifteen. He always wears his golden thick necklace. His neck is as thick as Jatin’s lap.
Jatin and Stan saw the bully bullying a small boy in the washroom with their own eyes. They were in the washroom. The bully, his friends and a boy came in. Jatin and Stan ran away, because they were too scared. The bully threatened that Jatin and Stan would be the next victims if they told.
Jatin felt sympathized with the boy.
After they finished their school, they went home together. Jatin’s mother was very proud that her son made a very good friend at the first day of high school.
Jatin and Stan chatted for a long time. He realized that he was exhausted after the whole day. He also felt lucky about his new best friend. Anyways, he thought that was a good beginning of his high school life.

Stealing

Jatin is a good boy, but - no one is perfect - he has done something bad. Stolen.
      Jatin’s mother lost her job two weeks ago. She was a teacher. She has been teaching for years. Currently, she was fired, because, the school was about to go bankrupt. So they had to fire people to earn enough money to not go bankrupt. She was very upset. Jatin’s family doesn’t have enough food to eat. Jatin was worried as his mother. Jatin’s mother even Jatin tried to find a job, but there were too many people finding jobs. There were no spaces for people who were looking for jobs. Jatin and his family can’t live without food. They don’t have other ways to survive without a job without money. His mother was so upset to her tiring life.
      However, Jatin never gives up. He could feel faith of hope surrounded. He could feel his father was with him. He could smell his father’s scent that he usually has when he was still alive.
      Jatin tried to think about some ways to help his family. Jatin- a kind, helpful and excellent boy - really wants to do something useful for his family. He wanted to be like someone…… a hero! This is a very good chance to prove his worth.
      Jatin thought about stealing. How about just a little money? He thought. No, it’s not good, he thought, but…… this is the only way to get money without doing anything. “No, no, no, no……I can’t do that.” He said to himself. He promised to himself that he wouldn’t steal.
      The next morning, when he was walking by his wealthy classmate, Katie’s house, he found a key under a rug in front of the gates. Also, Katie was on a trip to Australia with her family. Jatin looked around. While nobody was watching, he picked up that key and ran to school. He thought that was a gift from the god.
      He didn’t feel good all day. He felt everyone was staring at him strangely.
      Jatin decided to steal something from Katie’s house at night, but he didn’t feel comfortable about stealing. “But this is the only chance to get money to survive.” He said to himself, “I can do it, and I will do it.”After he braved up himself, he couldn’t feel neither peace nor justice. Wicked ideas filled up all of his spirit.
      He jumped over the fences, used the key to open the front door. Katie’s house was a three—story house. There were many art pictures hanging on the wall. The stairway was facing the front door. He walked upstairs.
Upstairs, it was much darker than downstairs. The doors were all shut. He didn’t know where bedrooms, kitchen, washroom were. So, he opened and walked into a room randomly. That was Katie’s bedroom. The room was painted purplish. There was a wooden shelf with a bunch of books. There was a pink bed in the corner with a Hello Kitty doll on. Jatin couldn’t find any money in Katie’s drawers. It was probably taken from Katie with her to Australia. Fortunately, he found a golden bracelet.
      The bracelet was so brilliant. It was shining under the moon light.
      Jatin was amazed by the bracelet. He didn’t know how long he stared at that. He put the bracelet into his pocket, got out of Katie’s house quickly, and put the key under the rug where he found it.
      He hopped to home. He kept whispering to himself, “Oh my God! This is awesome!!! I got a free bracelet!!! WOW~ I am rich now!” His heart beat faster and faster, not because he was scared, because he was so excited. Of course, everyone becomes happy when he gets money for free. Jatin got a beautiful golden bracelet for free! How could he not be happy!?
      The next morning, he felt regretful. He thought he did the worst crime in the whole world. He kept comforting himself, “this is all for my family. I saved my family. I am not doing the bad thing. I am just using weird ways to help.” However, he couldn’t feel any better.
      At school, Stan noticed that Jatin was unusual – He didn’t talk much. He didn’t eat much. When Stan waved to him, he just ignored Stan. Stan was anxious about Jatin. So he asked Jatin to tell him the problem, but Jatin refused.
      “Tell me. It will make you feel better.” Stan said tenderly.
      “I can’t.” Jatin still refused.
      “Come on~ tell your best friend the problem. Maybe he can help you.” Stan said and laughed.
      Jatin was still that serious. He tried to tell, but his words were stuck in his throat. Then, he told Stan everything.
      “Oh my God! You stole things from others!?” Stan answered madly, “How dare you! You are not the Jatin I know! How could you steal!? You disappointed me!” Then he walked away quickly.
      Jatin tried to tell him that he had no choices, but Stan disappeared already. Jatin was shocked. Stan has never been so mad before.
Jatin felt even more terrible. He thought, I shouldn’t tell Stan, I shouldn’t steal, I shouldn’t find the key accidentally, and the world shouldn’t have poor families or rich people. Yeah! Everyone should be equal! Life is unfair! How unfair!
Now, he wasn’t just sad. He felt angry about the world. Why would I steal!? That’s because I need money to buy food, to survive. If everyone was equal, there wouldn’t be people dying with hunger, fight with anger, working unpleasantly, the world would be peaceful and the people were free. This is a so unfair community! It’s not my fault to steal. It’s the world’s fault! The world made me to! He thought.
He felt more angers flowing through his blood to every corner of his body, spirit. He felt his face was becoming hotter and hotter. He felt his muscles were growing tighter and tighter.
      Stan hasn’t talk to Jatin for a few days. Jatin hasn’t sold that bracelet yet.
      A few days later, Katie was back from Australia. The second day, Katie was unusual too. Katie is from Australia. She has three sisters. Her father has a company in India. So her family moved to India. She is very open, friendly and thoughtful, but that day, she kept her mouth shut -- She becomes not talkative.
      Jatin overheard that Katie was very sorrowful, because she lost her bracelet. She didn’t want to tell her parents that she has lost it, because her parents are harsh. They would be very mad.
      Also, the bracelet was very special to her family. It is their heir mood. It was from her great great great grandmother. It was found in a very strange cave. The experts told them that it has a history of 150 years.
      Katie said if anyone found it, please return.
      He has never known that bracelet was that important to her. Jatin was guilty. Stan noticed, and stuck a small envelope with a letter inside on Jatin’s locker.
      The letter said,
Jatin, I know u r guilty and regretful. Return it. Then u will feel secure. Trust me. Just tell her that u found that near her locker. U shouldn’t use a bad way to receive money. U should find a job. U r not that kind of people who has ‘stealing talents’. Return it. I know u r not born to be a thief. No one will know the truth. The bracelet is like a curse to u, right? U can’t live with it. U can’t hide forever. So return it. Also, if u return it, we can be friends again if u like to. J
      Underneath, it was signed,
      From Stan
      Jatin didn’t know what to do. Stan was right. He did think about returning, but his family really needed it. Friends or Family? Which one is more important? He thought. It is a very important question. Family is more important, he thought, but I can’t use stealing things to receive money. Is there any other ways to get money? Oh yeah, there is! I can work for people!
Awesome!
     Jatin went to Katie’s house an afternoon. He returned the bracelet, and lied, “I found it near your locker. Katie was grateful. Katie was going to give Jatin money as rewards, but Jatin refused. He said he couldn’t receive money without working.
However, he told her that his family did need money, and he really needed a job to earn money by working. They talked about a small business – Jatin mows the grass for Katie’s family. Katie asked her parents and they allowed. Jatin was very happy. He could get one thousand three hundred and ninety piece of Indian Rupee (thirty dollars) a month (three times)!!! That was a lot of money to him.
      Also, as Stan promised, Jatin and Stan were friends again. 
      Jatin has given the money to his mother. His mother was very proud. She used the money to buy food and supplies. Jatin felt like…… he is a hero.
      Yeah!!! Happy ending~


The Unusual Diary

The Unusual Diary
July 12. 2011
       This is the first day I receive you. This is so good to meet a new friend who really listens to me a lot, I believe.
       I am so lonely these days. I haven’t gone to school for a few days. I miss them a lot.
July 13.2011
       Let me just tell you about myself. Then I’ll tell you why I didn’t go to school.
       I’m Kelsey, 17 years old. I have two little sisters who are both in elementary school and an older brother who is in college. My sisters are sometimes annoying. But my older brother cares about me a lot. I have a rich and happy family. My friends are cool and friendly. My boyfriend is amazing. I have almost everything I want.
However, I got something I didn’t want, and it changed my life. It’s bad though…
When I was young, I learned about Terry Fox. He had cancer and he died. And that was the first time I heard of cancer. Since that, I was scared of cancer until when I was in Grade Seven. I used to pray to God, hoping I won’t be abused by the horrible disease. I used to tell my mom how scary cancer is and how scared I am. But she always says that bad luck would never happen to me.
However, it did.
July 14.2011
       Last Friday night, I was lying in my bed. Suddenly, I got a seriously backache and it made me so hard to breathe. I had no ideas what happened to me. Then I reached to my cell-phone with difficulty and called 911 without using my brain.
       “Help… Help…” I whispered to my cell-phone. I couldn’t even sit up.
       “This is 911. Please tell me your location.” The person in the phone said calmly.
       Geez~ Stop wasting time! Do you think I have any ideas at this time!? This is an emergency, Don’t you know?? I thought. But I have no energy to talk that much. “Save me… I can’t…”
“Hang on. We are checking you location. Talk to me!”
I couldn’t breathe, how could I talk? Oh My!
Then… I heard siren approaching, my family yelling and asking and some wired, strange, noisy, annoying mixed and disorderly noise. Then… I think I fell asleep…
July15.2011
       The next morning, I woke up in the hospital. My mom was crying beside my bed. And I could hear the other guy talking to her. I thought he was trying to explain something, but my mom didn’t listen. At first, I didn’t know what happened and what is happening. Then I recalled my memory. Ugh~ I just fell in faint yesterday. How is it a big deal that she needed to cry!? Don’t embarrassing me, mom. I thought.
       Mom saw me woke up and ran to me and said, “Oh my sweetie! Thank God! You’re back!” She kept repeating that. She kissed me on the cheek hardly. Now I was really embarrassed.
       I tried to revolt the kisses, but she just couldn’t stop until I speak, “Oh mom, I’m fine~”
       “No you are not! What do you know!?”
       “Wait… I know myself the best! I feel fine. I just got a backache! Ok?”
       “You know why you got a backache? Because you got cancer! Kidney cancer!” My mom yelled to me, hugged me tightly and cried on my shoulders.
       What the… I was shocked. I was so healthy. Like I haven’t been sick for 2 years! How can I get cancer!? I mean… How is it possible? For me!? Then I became a bit upset but very suspicious.
       I couldn’t cry, because I didn’t and couldn’t believe. I wanted to cry, because my mom, she made me feel like crying. This must be a wired nightmare. Or it’s just a joke! My mom loves jokes! Ha!
       Then the doctor came over and said seriously that I do have a kidney cancer. It was terminal cancer already. So there is no actual medicine that could help. However, there is still one way to be healed. Operations. It might success but it might not. Half to half. But still, it’s still a lot of money to cost. It’s at least $50,000.
       I didn’t look at Mom, because I didn’t want my mom to see my eyes full of worries and begs - I didn’t know if my mom would cost that much for me or not…
       I felt she looked at me and stared. Then, she looked at the doctor and me and the doctor and me, and she said quietly, “I think I will say yes after I get more info. I can’t just leave my lovely daughter alone with the death. Me, as her mom will do anything for her daughter. So I believe she will say yes. Yeah…”
       I didn’t know if she is telling me how much she love me to me or explaining why would she spend that much money to the doctor. It’s confusing but I don’t care.
       “OK. Great.” The doctor replied and walked away.
       She smiled to me. That was the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. And of course I smiled back with tears. I believe, my smile, was the most painful smile she has ever seen. However, my tears were standing for happy, grateful and moved. I feel love. And you can never use $100,000 to buy any of them. I am the happiest girl ever in the whole world.
July 15.2011
       There is always a feeling in my mind: I’m dying… And I’m still young… L So bad… Even though Doctor said I have an operation that may save me, I’m still not feeling good… I feel like it’s a curse. I feel like there is no way I can heal.
       I feel so bad for myself. I am such a good student. I have good grades. I am such a cool teenager. I have a boyfriend who cares about me a lot. I am such a lucky child. I have a rich and concordant family. I am such a popular kid. I have money. I have cell-phones. I have video games. I am such an awesome friend. I have people. I have pals who understand me a lot. I have such many good things to enjoy and such many good to happen. Why do I have to die when I am so happy!? Why do things go bad when it’s so good!? Why am I the one who has been chosen!? Why it’s me!? It is so not fair!!!
       I’m upset, and I can feel it in my mind.
July 16.2011
       Another day is over… And I am closer to the death, to the day…
       I feel like I am not the girl I was. I’m just too upset. And that I know.
       Not only my body’s dying… My mind’s dying…
July 18. 2011
       I can’t eat much and I don’t sleep well. Dying is haunting me in days, at nights. My mom said I need to relax and stop imagining. But all I did was yelling to her. I regret… I feel so sorry.
I have changed too much. I can’t keep losing my spirit.
       Yeah. I should really try to stop being silly. I need to be more happy and positive. Maybe I won’t die. Maybe I am just too nervous and too frustrated that I got cancer. But the point is – I might survive! How can I be sure I’m dying! I was so dump! I’m still healthy! Maybe the doctor made a mistake or something got wrong!? What if I don’t have cancer!? Yeah! That made a lot of senses now~ Aha!
July 19.2011
       I told Mom that how I felt and how I thought. She said she will take me to the doctor tomorrow and check again. I really hope I could get a good result this time!
July 20.2011 Morning
       I have gone to the doctor and made an X-Ray photo. Then he told us we need to wait for an hour for it to be printed. Ahhh!!!!! So nervous!!!
Two hours later…
       The two hours made me feel like eternity! I have been waiting for so long. As I was complaining, the doctor showed us the X-Ray photo. He showed where my cancer cells are, and told us I do have cancer. That’s for sure.
       Then I went home disappointedly.
July 20.2011
       However, I’m still not so sad. I am gald I could still wake up every morning. I can still breathe. I can still live on the earth.
       People say I must be so sad when I got cancer. Yeah. It’s true. Only when it is the first few days I know I got cancer. I just couldn’t face the fact. But as you look at the bright side, I’m still alive!!! Isn’t it great!? I’m a patient, and I should be glad that I can live for another day.
       These days, my first thing I do when I wake up is look at myself and my sure I am still a human. ;)
July 21.2011
       My doctor said I need to sleep at the hospital from now on, because it is easier for doctors and nurses to do physical exams easier. It is so annoying. Hate moving around. Sheesh~
       The rooms in hospital are so stinky! Ewww~ It disgusts me. It is like the smell of disinfectant liquid and medicine has been mixed together. Anyways, it’s really bad. I cannot believe I am actually living in this kind of place!!! Until I healed! Oh My!
       Geez~
July 22.2011
       The girl who sleeps beside me got cancer too. Her mom cries all day and night. I couldn’t even stay quiet and calm. At first, I was really annoyed.
Once I even told them to stop one day. But the girl is super sweet. She apologized without making any unwillingness. Then she told her mom she would recover. She made me shocked and guilty. Shocked because she is only seven and she knows how to calm a senior. Guilty because she is so polite, but me – who is a lot older than her – just sit there, watch them cry and criticize them! How dare me! Maybe her mom cries because she doesn’t wanna lose a great daughter like her. Ugh man! I’m so regretful… L
She has an older brother too. He is around my age. I can tell he love his sister a lot. He tells stories at night. He stays in the hospital in days. Her sister seems so weak and effeminate when he’s around. She cries in her brother’s chest at night. I feel sorry for her and her family.
July 23.2011
       The food here is disgusting! It’s good that my mom brings me lunch most of the time. I am so bored in the hospital. There are no TVs!!! OMG! But I got my PS2 and my laptop with me. So I can always play video games until I’m totally dizzy and annoyed. Haha! When I’m free, I watch movies and research Tom Cruise’s info. I am a super fan of Tom Cruise. He is just… SOOOOOOO COOL!!! I love his movies. My favorite one is The War of the World. He is so handsome in that movie! Once, I watched 3 movies of Tom Cruise a day! My mom was mad, but she just couldn’t do anything, because… I’M A PATIENT!! Haha~
       Do not ever think being a patient is always a good thing! I have pains too. I have to take two shots a day. Doctor said I am totally becoming thinner and losing weight. He also said I need to keep my nutrition. So I won’t get sick or whatever. The shots hurt a lot at the first few days. But you know what! Now, I am used to it.
July.25.2011
       I miss my classmates so much. I feel like I have been changed a lot. Before I have known I get cancer, I was a naughty but smart girl. I didn’t like going to school. I hate the way teachers teach. I hate that we need to put our bag and clothes in the locker. I hate the color of our school uniform. I hate that we need to carry our bag pack to school and back home. I hate my ugly gym bag. I hate short uniform skirt to school.
But now… I miss the smell of my classroom. I miss the sound of our recess bell. I miss the games that Math teachers always play. I miss the funny noises the boys make. I miss listening to our teachers reading. I miss the way we pass note with fiends even though we are not allowed to… I enjoy school time. But I just couldn’t feel it when I am actually in and enjoying.
I love my school. I love my classroom. I love my teachers. I love my classmates. I love my friends… And it will always be a ‘friendship’ love and a ‘long time no see’ love.
I get it. I finally get it. I miss them too too much. They are most of my life beside families. I hope my whole class could come and visit me. No… I hope I can recover and go back to school and visit them. J
July 26.2011
       Today, my grandparents came and visit. My Grandma isn’t actually my Grandma. Well she is , but she isn’t my real Grandma. Oh I get it. She is my Grandma, but I don’t have her blood flowing in my body. That means, we are relationship by mind, but we are not relationship by blood. She is my mother’s step mother. Since she was born, her mother died. Then her father married again. However, my mom never knew the truth until she was twenty years old. Her step mother was always treating her like her baby. So after she knew the truth, she had nothing to say, because she was so grateful and moved that her step mother loved her so much! Even I, was moved when I first heard the story.
       Anyways, my grandparents came all the way from Rome, Italy to here after seven hours on the plane. My Grandma brought me my favorite food – dumplings – she is from China. She used to cook dumplings for me when I was little. I loved her! And her food!!! But I didn’t eat much today. I didn’t feel like eating. When she was leaving, I said, “I can’t believe I am actually dying before you are! Haha~” I was just trying to be funny. However, she cried.
       Now, I realized dying isn’t a good joke, especially to my relatives.
July 28.2011
       Sorry. I was sleeping the whole day yesterday. I didn’t write to you. I apologize.
       I’m so excited right now! My whole class is coming to visit me this afternoon! I can’t wait!!! three more hours!! Hooray!!!
Three Hours Later
       My classmates came. They brought me gifts and flowers. I am so happy that they gave me gifts. I have never received that many presents at one time!! So awesome! But at the same time, I feel bad that I’m dying.
       They lined at beside my bed, and talked to me. It’s like… wired feelings.
       The boy who was my desk mate who always argues with me whispered, “Kelsey, hope we can meet in the heaven.” I was wondering if it’s a good thing or a bad thing… Is he cursing me to the death? Or he wants to be my friend when we are both in heavens… which means he likes me. I hesitated and whispered, “Ummm… Sure… You know that I have a boyfriend right? He will bunch you in the face if he hears it. Plus, how do I know it’s you if you became an old man?” And I giggled. But he was still really serious, “Don’t worry. I’ll go find you~” He said and winked. Ugh~ Grows~
       My best friend, Emma, said, “Kelsey, I believe you will recover. I believe you. You are the best. Please don’t go. Promise me. You will come and find me after the operation right? Promise me you will.”
       “But… I can’t decide…” I said.
       “Please! I don’t care! Just promise me you will be okay! Just do it. Please!” Emma said. She was really sensitive. She was totally making me nervous. Her eyes became red. But me, I’m so innocent!
       But to make her feel better, I promised her, “Okay. Okay. I promise you I will be okay. I will go and find you after the operation. Just be happy, because if you are happy I will feel better.”
       “Thanks, Kels~ I love you.” Emma walked away.
       Ugh. Man! I shouldn’t promise her. First, because who knows if I will survive or not. Second, it will be so bad if I didn’t survive. She will be really sad and mad that I lied to her. But the point is I didn’t mean to lie to her. I was just trying to make her happy. But all I am doing is make it worse.
       I feel so bad for my friends. I don’t want to leave them alone and thinking about their old best friend – me. But I have no choices and ideas. All I can do is to promise them that I won’t die. But who knows!? Hmm?
July 30. 2011
       The girl who sleeps beside me died. She didn’t survive after the operation. My mom went to her funeral. She brought the girl flowers. And she saw the little girl with her eyes closed. She told me she felt bad, because everyone was crying. And she was crying too. She also told me she wasn’t crying for the girl or her family. She was crying for me and our family. She said, it might be happen to me after the operation.
       Life is so difficult. It’s just a short breathing moment. Once you lose your little breath, you die.
July 31.2011
       I feel so bad these days. There are only a few days until my operation. What if I do have the same result like the girl who died yesterday? I don’t want that to happen. But what if it did!? Oh My God! I don’t want to do the operation. I will be really happy if it success. But it will be so bad if… Ugh! I’m so nervous.
August 4.2011
       Mom, dad, older brother – Edward, younger sisters – Liana and Elaina came as a whole big family yesterday.
       Edward didn’t have a lot of free time. He goes to college in Boston most of the time. He is a good student, a nice brother and a great guy. He is perfect. Liana and Elaina are both cute. Elaina who is only three years old as the youngest member in our big family makes us happy with her pure spirit. Liana who is in seven years old is a responsible child. She helped me a lot. She plays with Elaina so I wouldn’t be busy spending time taking care of the Elaina. Dad is a business man. He is really busy at work to earn money for our family. He does his best eating dinner with us; spend time taking us to different places. He is just so awesome. Mom and I are like sisters. She is young and understanding. We are together the whole time at everywhere.
       I really don’t wanna leave this home sweet home. I was crying and complaining that why I am the one who has cancer. Mom said it was just life. I was shocked. It made her sound so mature. She was talking with the way she’s never like. Or maybe I was just too childish at that time. Maybe I’m talking with the way I am never like.
       In the middle of the ‘conversation’ or the ‘meeting’, my boyfriend, Jonathan came. He knocked on the door, and I stopped crying and I stared at him for a while and continued crying. My sister – Liana was poking me. But I ignored her.
       My boyfriend appeared beside my bed. I sat up and stopped crying. I stared at him with my blurry sight. I hugged him tightly. He understands me the best. I whispered, “Johnny, I don’t want to lose you. I want you to know. I love you so much. I haven’t live long. I haven’t finished enjoying my life yet. But I’m dying. I don’t wanna go. Don’t wanna die yet. I’m still young.”
       “Stop it.” He said softly, “You’ll be fine. I love you too, Kels. You won’t die. You’ll be fine. Trust me, you won’t die, because I will never let you go. I care about you the most. You are the only thing I care. Okay? You are the only one I love…”
       I fell asleep. No dreams…
       I hope I could wake up.
August 5.2011
       Of course I woke up. I slept for days. I don’t feel really good. So the operation which is supposed to be today got changed to tomorrow. To me, today might be my last day of my life. My family will stay with me the whole day.
       I am writing a poem. I have no idea how to name it. Anyways, here it goes,
 “If this is my last day of my life,
I will not be afraid of the death,
Because I have faith.
I will not be ashamed that I am not normal,
Because I am who I am
I will not complain I am the one who has been chosen,
Because I understand it’s all life
I will not regret that I was borned,
Because I had and enjoyed my short but happy life
And I will still be myself on the operating bed,
Because I believe,
Because I am Kelsey, I am confident!

But if I can survive after the operation,
I will go through my diary and laugh out loud with all my happiness.
I will hang out with all my friends and tell them how happy I am.
I will kiss my boyfriend on the cheek with all my love.
I will tell my family that I am grateful that they care about me so so much.
I will invite my people to my party and celebrate my joyful happy life.
If I really can survive,
I will kneel down on the top of a high mountain,
Stare at the blue pretty sky,
 And tell god “I love and thank you” with my heart!”
I feel so good and so happy after I finished it. I feel free. There is no more darkness or fear in my spirit. I’m crying with my joyfulness. I am so glad that I am happy.
August 6. 2011
       This is the day. My friends and my family are all here. The nurse pushed my bed and me into the operation room. I said to my friends and parents and siblings and boyfriend, “I promise I will be back. I have a feeling this will be okay. Trust me. So I will not say bye to you guys, because I will see you again. Anyways, see you later. I love you guys!!”
       I guess it’s time to say ‘see you’ to you, my diary. I’ll be back! Trust me. I love you too. Thank you for being my friend who listens to me a lot. You are the best! See ya!
Epilogue
       Kelsey prayed a lot on her bed before the operation began. She got her anesthetic and fell asleep. However, she never got a chance to open her eyes again. She’s now dead. However, she is a really important part of her family, friends, classmates and her people’s life. Her happy and optimistic personality will always be remembered in her people’s mind forever and ever……