Liz with Grace and Sam

1.    Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

2.    WinterGirls by Lauren Anderson

Liz with Grace and Sam

Liz became friends with Grace in college. Grace and Sam have been together for two years. Liz began to get her bad disease because she thinks Grace was skinnier and prettier. She tried to cut herself again but Sam found out. Sam realized what was going on and tried to stop Liz. Liz was mad and wanted to get rid of Grace. There were so much going on but Grace didn’t know anything yet. Grace realized Sam and Liz were against each other and Sam couldn’t convince Grace with the truth, but Liz doesn’t admit. So Sam had no choice but protected Grace without her knowing. Grace found out Sam was always stalking her so she dumped Sam. Finally one night Sam went to find Grace and saw Liz stabbing her. He tried to stop it but it was too late. Grace said she’s sorry and gave one last kiss. Sam as heart-broken and he was ready on revenge. He was so mad that he changed into a wolf suddenly! He hadn’t change into a wolf for years. Anger made him change and he ripped Liz apart and ran off.

It was September, Liz moved to a city near the US border for college. She loved that city. On the first day of school, when she was lost in the building that was like a maze with nobody, she saw a girl coming from the opposite side. She is pretty. Liz only saw pureness and kindness in her eyes. The girl gave Liz a small smile and stopped walking. “Are you lost?”

“I’m going to Room 79,”Liz faked a smile, “sorry I have no idea where that is.”

She replied, “Oh, Room 79, Natural Laws right? I’m going to that class as well. Just come with me. I’ll show you.” She started walking and she said again, “I’m Grace. You can always come find me if you have any problems here. You’re more than welcomed. Oh, and you are…?”

“Liz, I’m Liz,” Liz smiled. “And thank you Grace.”

Liz and Grace hanged out more and more often. They had a lot of things in common. They both loved the nature and they always go hiking together with Grace’s boyfriend, Sam. Liz learned that Sam and Grace have been together for two years. After a few months Liz knew almost everything about them. One night she was in bed and she realized something was wrong.

She was going to sleep but she couldn’t help thinking about her best friend Grace. Liz always remembered the nice and cool things about someone. Liz remembered the perfectness of Grace’s thin face, her shaped jaws, and her fit body with curves shown clearly.  Liz didn’t know how she started and she couldn’t get it out of her head even though she wanted to. She tried not to think about it and to go to sleep. She finally realized she was going to the old her years ago ---- when she had anorexia nervosa. She didn’t know how many times she shook her head that night to try to get that thought out of her head. She once again brought up the shadows of anorexia nervosa. She felt disappointed in herself but at the same time, she was mad that Grace just seemed so perfect. In every kind of way.

The next day, Grace saw the difference in Liz’s eyes. The way she tried to avoid looking into Grace’s eyes made Grace confused. Grace thought she had done something to Liz. However, only Liz knew, she felt guilty but couldn’t stop to heal her sick mind. Liz didn’t want to be with Grace anymore. Liz thought, in front of everyone, Grace is the shining star and I am nothing compared to Grace. I need to be better than this. I need to get skinny. Then, Grace will look at me the way I look at her. She then felt she was so helpless. She began to stop eating food with calories over 300 per 50 gram. However, she saw her ugliness comparing to Grace. She remembered she still kept the knife she always had under her bed though she hadn’t use it in forever. She thought it was not a good idea.  She tried convincing herself to not to think of it. After a week of controlling herself to not do this, she gave up. She was tired of all this and she just want to be perfect.

One day, Grace and Sam came over to her house and they were going swimming. When Liz once again saw the amazingly beautiful Grace in bikini standing in front of her, Liz felt so ashamed and disappointed in herself. Liz went in her room immediately and took out the knife. She looked at the reflection of her naked in the mirror and tears ran down her cheeks. She hasn’t done this in such a long time and she knew she was scared. Be brave and cut. Be brave and cut…

Outside, Grace was looking for food in the kitchen and Sam was sitting outside Liz’s bedroom reading a book he found on the table. Ah. Sam heard the loud noise from Liz’s bedroom and he was on his feet.  The noise wasn’t loud but sounded painful. Then Sam heard Liz sobbing and Sam knocked her doors hard and said, “Are you okay in there?? Need some help?”

Liz’s sobbing was louder. Sam was worried. Few seconds later, Sam heard her replying, “I’m sorry… Don’t… don’t… wait… Sorry…” Sam got anxious and had no idea why Liz was saying sorry. Sam pushed the door with his right shoulder. In one shot, the door opened.  

“What the…” He was shocked of what he was seeing. Liz sitting on the wooden floor naked… a knife in the right hand… blood flooding on her left wrist… tears and blood mixed together on the floor… Liz stopped crying but Sam almost fainted. Liz said, “Sam, don’t look. Please go away.” Her voice was uneven, sounded like she wasn’t able to breathe. Sam remembered the moments when his parents tried to cut his wrists when they found out he was a monster. “One. Two. Three…” the voices of his parents were ringing in his ears. He couldn’t get himself focused. When he finally got out of his nightmares, he saw what is really in front of his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing!?” He wanted to yell more but no words came out of his mouth, because he didn’t understand.

Liz answered quietly as she could read his mind, “I know you don’t understand. But I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

“What…”Sam stared at the blood. It seemed it has stopped.

“See? It’s not very deep. It’s stopped.” Liz sounded proud, but she wasn’t. She didn’t want any of her best friends to see this. She was only trying to convince Sam she’s safe.

Sam thought Liz sounded like nothing had happened. Sam got his mind right again, and said, “okay, I’ll get Grace. You wait here and -----”

“What!? You seriously going to tell Grace!? Please don’t tell Grace.” Liz didn’t want Grace to think she was jealous of her, because she knew once Grace asks why, Liz wouldn’t be able to get away.

“Then what do you want?” Sam felt very uncomfortable.

“I’ll clean up and act like nothing has happened. Please, don’t get Grace.”

“What the hell is going on with you!? What are you thinking? Would you tell me?” Sam was mad but more worried actually.

“No…” Liz thought and continued, “Yes, I will tell you but just don’t get Grace. I’ll be okay. Don’t tell Grace though. I’m serious.”

Sam thought Liz was afraid of Grace or something. However, he asked no more. He got out of her room and shut the door tight. He sat there in his seat and stared at the door of her room until Liz got out.

After a few days, Sam still couldn’t get that gruesome scene out of his head. He headed to Liz’s house alone early in the morning before Grace woke up.

Sam ringed the doorbell until Liz opened the door after a minute of ‘ring ring’.

“What do you want?” Liz was still in her pajamas. Her eyes barely opened.

“Would you tell me now?”

“Tell you what?” Liz said annoyed, “I wanna sleep, Sam.”

Sam hesitated when Liz didn’t realize what he was talking about, “Liz, why did you cut yourself? I mean, you’re so happy every day and… isn’t that good enough!?”

Liz waited until she was sure Sam finished and said, “Yeah… I’m happy. Actually… No it’s not good enough. You don’t understand. Leave.” As she was about to shut the door, Sam sticked his foot to stop the door from closing.

“Try me.” Sam said calmly, staring at Liz, trying to convince her.

Liz opened the door, “Come on in.”

“Well, why did you cut yourself? I know how it felt and I don’t understand. I was forced to be cut! My parents thought I’m a monster when they knew I was a half wolf. They were scared and I had no choice. It’s awful. Why did you do it?”

Liz knew that he used to be a wolf, so she wasn’t surprised. She sighed and replied, “Don’t tell Grace, but… Grace is so perfect! She is so much better than me! I want to be like her and I want to be as skinny as her. It’s so not fair! Do you think I have a choice!? I need to be skinny but I can’t because I am not as skillful as I used to be… you know… I just can’t help it, Sam. Don’t tell ----”

Sam was really confused. No, actually, Sam got it all clear but couldn’t believe what she’s saying, “Are you kidding me!? You want to be like her… Alright… Heck, this is just stupid Liz. You can’t be her. You aren’t like her.” Sam didn’t like the thought of Liz trying to be like Grace. He hated it. Grace is his girlfriend and someone else is jealous of her and trying to be her.

“I can’t? I’ll prove it to you! I won’t be her, but I am going to be the best. I will someday get rid of her and guess what? Poof! I am the best!” Liz yelled.

“What…? You will get rid of her? You mean kill her?” Sam almost laughed.

“Yup. Kill. Her. I swear to kill her. No matter what.”

Sam’s ears were ringing. He thought he was listening to the story of SnowWhite. Evil Queen tried to kill SnowWhite just to be the most beautiful person in the world. This is ridiculous, Sam thought. He never liked the story when Beck once told him when he was young. He just couldn’t believe there would be such evil people in the world. He didn’t want to believe. However, right now, there is one person like Evil Queen right there, in front of his eyes. “Well, you know what? You can’t. You’re just out of your mind, Liz. I will be the one who is going to stop you.” Sam answered quietly but harshly through his teeth. Sam walked out of the door before Liz said anything.

Liz grinned evilly, like Sam was still there in front of her. “Haha, we’ll see about that.” 

As soon as Sam got home, he bawled his eyes out. Grace didn’t know what happened. He loved Grace so much that he wanted to tell Grace. However, he knew Grace would only think it’s a crazy joke.

Grace comforted Sam though had no idea of what was going on, “Hey Sam, what’s wrong? You can tell me anything.”

Sam couldn’t think straight. He knew Grace wouldn’t believe.

“C’mon, tell me. What’s wrong? It’s okay Sam. We’ve been through so much already. Why aren’t you telling me?” Grace sounded so sweet that Sam’s tears just wouldn’t stop.

Sam couldn’t speak and he knew clearly Grace was going to laugh at him. However, he would give it a try. He calmed himself and told the truth of everything.

“Haha, you’re totally lying to me.” She laughed at him. Sam knew she would do that.

“Do you even think I’m joking? Do I look like I’m joking?” Sam looked into Grace’s eyes.

Grace fell silent. She looked away and looked back at Sam, “No. But it surely isn’t funny, if it’s supposed to be a joke.” Grace waited for Sam to laugh. However, his face was dead serious.

They stared at each other for a while. Grace broke the silence and said, “Yeah, well, okay, honestly, I don't believe she would really do so. She was probably just mad or something. She may not have meant it. I’m going to talk to her anyway. She wouldn't kill me right away, don't you think so?” Grace walked away before Sam could answer.

“Stop! I don’t know!” Sam ran to catch up while yelling, “Wait up Grace!”

Sam got in the Blanco that Grace had for years. No one talked on the way to Liz’s house. Grace got a lot of things in mind, but Sam was just afraid that the more he speaks the more Grace would not believe him. Grace got down fast while leaving Sam behind. Grace ringed the doorbell several times. Sam walked to her.

“Well, I don't think Liz is home. We can come back some other day.”Grace said calmly.

      “Yeah, okay, we will come back right? You believe what I said right?” Sam asked her, wishing to hear Grace’s definite answer.

      Grace didn't speak.

      “She’s probably so afraid to face you.” Sam thought out loud.

      “I don't want you to speak like this! She’s my best friend! Do you think I’m going to just be cool about you talking behind my best friend’s back?” Grace yelled at Sam.

      “Sorry.” Sam whispered, “I was just trying to ----”

      “Okay. Enough already. Thank you for being nice, but to be honest I think you just need to take a break, Sam. I’m not saying I don't believe you at all. But I think you’ve been talking craps these days. Stop all this and I’ll figure it out.” Grace sounded cold.

      Sam tried to rebut. However, he was scared that Grace would be angry again.

     

      Grace had gone to Liz’s house the next day without Sam knowing. She waited at the front door of Liz’s house. Her mind kept replaying yesterday’s memory. Grace knew Sam was only trying to convince Grace. However, she was upset but she didn't know why. Grace thinks she was just really tired these days. Maybe she is the one who needed to take a break. As Grace was about to leave, Liz opened the door, “Hey, What’s up? I didn't expect you to be here. Where’s the wolf boy?” Liz gave a big smile.

      “Hey. He’s still in bed. I’ve been trying to talk ----”

      Liz interrupted, “Ah, you want a talk. Come on in and we can do that.”

      Grace smiled and suddenly shivered as she sat down. “Where have you been yesterday?” Sam and I were trying to find you.”

      “I was in the library.” She threw away the jacket of hers and emptied the armchair for herself, “Oh, do you want to make some coffee for yourself?”

      “You don't want to any?” Grace walked to the kitchen.

      “Nah, I’m fat enough.” Liz answered and laughed.

      “Are you kidding me? You’re as skinny as a stick Liz.” Grace joked, but she suddenly remembered what Sam told Liz was doing ---- losing weight to beat Grace. That brought Grace a shiver. She didn't want Liz to notice about anything she knew. So she softened the effect with a laugh, “It’s supposed to be a joke. You know.”

      Liz smiled and looked out the window. She seemed to be caught up with something outside and narrowed her eyes and asked, “You sure Sam is still in bed?”

      Grace looked outside at where Liz was pointing. “What the…”

      Liz laughed and asked, “Did he used to be like this as a wolf too? Because he’s surely not a great hider.”

      Grace ignored Liz and walked outside quickly. As soon as the door opened, the cold air peeled off Grace’s skin. Grace ran straight to Sam, “What the heck do you think you’re doing?”

      “Nothing. Just thought you might be with Liz. It’s not safe with her Grace.”

      Grace’s heart was softened at the way Sam said Grace. However, she got back in her mood, “You are stalking me. Liz is my best friend. Do not tell me you don't want me to be with my best friend. You’re so selfish. You think I’m all yours alone? Guess what!? Wrong! That's the sickest idea I have ever heard. Why am I supposed to believe all your crappy theory? You know what?! This is not cool.” Before Sam could say sorry, Grace continued, “Sam, I’ve got enough of your apologies. We’re done.”

      Sam fell silent. His heart broke into thousands of pieces. He felt so cold that he thought he was going to change. He imagined his back hunching and his bones twisting. He even wished he could just disappear into a wolf in front of her than standing her, not able to anything to change it. He suddenly remembered the song he had written for Grace when they met. And all the happy memories. He smiled and thought out loud.

“I fell for her in summer, my lovely summer girl,
From summer she is made, my lovely summer girl,
I’d love to spend a winter with my lovely summer girl,
But I’m never warm enough for my lovely summer girl,
It’s summer when she smiles, I’m laughing like a child,
It’s the summer of our lives; we’ll contain it for a while
She holds the heat, the breeze of summer in the circle of her hand
I’d be happy with this summer if it’s all we ever had.”

      He continued it,

“And now, my lovely summer girl had left me,
And I know our time is up already.
Though I had been so happy with my lovely summer girl,
now it’s time for me to leave.
I shall go or I shall stay?
I have no choice
but all depends on my lovely summer girl.
Oh, my lovely, summer, girl.”

      Grace knew exactly which song Sam was talking about. She felt the words piercing her heart like needles. She regretted what she said, because she knew it was just harsh and mean. She wanted Sam back, but all she gets is watching him turn and walk into the woods. Useless.

     

      Tears rolled down Grace’s cheek. Sam hadn’t been home for four days. She knew she couldn't live without Sam. She wanted Sam desperately. She needs him, and she knew it clearly. She went to the bookstore where Sam works at. She went to the candy store Sam brought her to on their very first date. She went to the forest, the golden woods. She went to Beck’s house. She cried out her eyes and screamed into the sky. She yelled out so many ‘sorry’s but knew Sam would never forgive her. She went everywhere, but found no sign of Sam. She was afraid Sam would be gone. Again. And that would all be her fault.

      Sam watched Grace from behind the bushes, wishing Grace would see him. Though he was still mad, he wanted Grace to get back to him like nothing had happened.

     

Grace had no choice but go to the only person she had, Liz. Liz tried to talk her out of the sadness. Liz seemed all nice and easy on her. She comforted Grace and Grace actually felt better.

Sam had been watching Grace going to Liz’s house almost every day. He didn't understand. He thought Grace loves him but couldn’t understand why she didn’t believe him and stay away from Liz as he told her to. He prayed every day to not let Liz kill Grace. He bet that Liz is so happy that Grace had lost Sam. Sam was so mad whenever he thinks about Liz, but whenever he thinks of Grace, peace just come in and flood away the rage.

Sam always thought about whether to get back to Grace or not. However, his presence may bring anger to Liz and Liz would not hesitate to get rid of Grace.

One night, when the night was quiet, Grace decided to watch a movie with Liz to try to get used to a normal life. Grace sat on the couch. She couldn’t remember Liz trying to kill her, or at least she didn’t want to remember. Liz was being really great and thoughtful these days after the lost of Sam.

“I’m just gonna go get a drink for you. What do you want?”

“Grape juice would be good.”

Liz had gone to the kitchen. She grabbed a knife from the kitchen and walked quietly toward Grace and a strike was on the door. She knew exactly who it was. Grace looked at Liz and Liz didn’t hesitate. She raised the knife high and Grace screamed. She stabbed it into her back through the heart as Sam forced opened the door. Sam swore loudly and ran to stop Liz. Liz stared at Sam and laughed, “Well, I’m sorry. But you’re too late. Look at Grace now. She’s almost gone. What are you going to do, wolf-boy? You gonna bite me and rip me up? Too late. Nothing saves her. I am the best now. Unfortunately you lose the bet and I win! Yay for me heh?” Liz looked at Grace and laughed.

Sam just glared at Liz and ran to Grace. “Grace, listen to me. You will be okay.” He said as he shook her hard.

“Yeah, I will be.” Grace forced a smile, “Thanks for coming Sam… I’m so sorry.”

“No, I could’ve stopped it Grace.” Sam’s tears were shiny on his cheeks, “I’m sorry Grace. I was too late. I’m sorry I had you cry for so many days. You know I was there right?”

“Yeah, I knew. I felt you there. I smell you there. Somewhere…”

“Why did you not listen to me? Why didn’t you stay away from Liz? Why Grace?”

Grace smiled with blood in her mouth, “I knew you would come out to save me. I knew I would see you again… Even like this… right now…” Grace coughed softly.

      Sam said nothing and his tears couldn’t stop. He watched and said, “I love you Grace. I always do.”

      Grace smiled again and whispered, “Yeah, I know. I love you too… So much it hurts.” Grace gave one last smile and her breath stopped.

      Sam put Grace down slowly and looked at Liz.

      Liz smiled and said, “That was dramatic but really romantic.”

 “You are out of your mind Liz! She trusted you and you did this to her!? You are going to pay for this Liz.” Anger rushed up his nerves. There was asperity in his eyes. He didn’t know what he was doing. He only felt he was shaking uncontrollably. Liz stared at him, scared. His body twisted and a wolf appeared in front of Liz. Liz never really believe that he used to be a wolf. However, there he is right in front of her. She shook her head and stood there awkwardly.

Sam jumped and ripped Liz into so many pieces. Liz’s broken body and dead Grace were there lying on the floor.

      Sam stared at it and turned. He jumped out of Liz’s house, then he finally disappeared into the woods silently under the cold harsh wind of winter…