July 27th

July 27th, 2012

      I went to the hospital again today. I’m a little better but still coughing and having fever. It’s annoying. But who am I going to blame? Myself? Yeah, I guess, then I’ll shut up complaining because being sick is my fault anyway. L

      I had to have a blood test again. I was so scared when I was in line. Having an hardly-enjoyable experience made me nervous and unwilling. This time, this nurse was really bad and stupid. Lord Jesus, forgive me for judging other people. Anyway, The nurse is really slow and she makes every move as slow as possible. She pushes the small needle deeply into my ring fingertip and takes it out slowly. She leaves my hand on the table and grabs the tube slowly. I can feel my blood flowing and going through the tiny hole that seems impossible to allow the blood to come out. Until she’s ready to suck the blood into the tube, I was almost dead. She squeezes my ring finger hard until it was numb and, I believe, pale white. She stops and threw my hand onto the table and stuffed a piece of cotton on my tiny hole where the needle was stung. (Oh Gosh… I can’t write this anyway. I’m going to faint.)

Though I was not watching her doing it, but my imagination was incredible. Lord Jesus, what you gifted me can be very helpful and sometimes deadly. My imagination told me not to ignore the pain but remember the blood scene in my brain. The moment kept repeating in my head like and echo that never ends. I tried to stop my own mind, but I felt so helpless. As my mom and I were leaving together, I couldn’t take it anyway. I told her I need to stop for a second. Good that she knew I faint blood, she held her questions and doubt, and rested on the side with me. Suddenly I felt so tired and dizzy that I couldn’t even make myself to keep my head up. Randomly and suddenly, I was dreaming and it felt amazing. I don’t remember what I dreamed about but it was sweet. I couldn’t remember how I even fell asleep and I didn’t care. It was nice. Suddenly I opened my eyes and couldn’t remember where I was temporarily. I quickly realized I was on the floor and I freaked out. I sat up, saw people walking by and looking at me. It was strange, because I felt I was the center of something. Embarrassment rushed through me, however, mom told me to slow my moves down and don’t worry. Then people who were sort of watching me walked by. I felt better and I asked for some water. I knew I only fainted for a few seconds as mom told me. Mom told me that I was too heavy after I fainted so she had to put me on the floor slowly as I was falling. I said I was fine and told her not to worry. She wasn’t worried because she knew I faint blood. It’s probably a gene thing, because mom used to faint blood too. It was really no big deal. We then kept on moving and went home. It was okay. I’m glad mom didn’t freak out and call the ambulance and that will really be awkward.

That was the second time this year. I was glad she was with me that time. The first time was because of a paper cut. I was at school in the washroom trying to wash away the blood. I tried to hold myself, but it was bad. I fainted and went to the nurse. Then my teacher, Ms Duteau knew and even came to look at me when I was in class. By the way, I’m going to tell you a story Ms Duteau told me of her husband. Once, she was out and her husband was doing chores. Her husband cut himself very deep and told his brother beside him to call 911. However, his brother fainted as he saw the blood dripping down. Her husband was cut really deep and his brother fell and trapped him at the corner. So he had to do something. Her husband kept kicking his brother to wake him. He kicked his brother until he woke. Haha. It’s really funny, but it can be dangerous. Trust me, it’s no fun. Gosh, I can’t be a surgery doctor. :3